There is no caption that tops the stupid look in this picture

Now that you know about Shitzu the shit bucket, it’s time you met Sam.  Sam is an 8 year old Valley Bulldog.  Somewhere there are papers that say she’s an English Bulldog but she’s as English as Puerto Rican’s are black.  I don’t care what texture your hair is, deep down you still want a job (Sorry, I just watched Gran Torino).  I don’t really remember the reason behind getting Sam, mostly because those memories were replaced by those of a bulldog shitting thru the front of a cage.  At just 4 months Sam had the amazing ability to shit on 6’ of wall and not get a single drop on the floor.  It was as if she was able to strafe down the hall while vomiting out her asshole.  Aside from her fecal ability, Sam is also living proof that dogs can be retarded.  This is not a hack chance to use the word retarded, it’s just the only word that make sense.  Retarded children do not respond well to a lack of routine to the point that sometimes they are unable to adjust to even the simplest change.  If you put Sam’s food bowl behind her, she will starve to death.  They don’t realize their own strength even to the point of hurting themselves.  Sam once ran full speed into the side of a car that had been parked in the same place for 3 days.  IQ for retardation is less than 75.  Sam can’t count and lets other dogs piss in her mouth.