Now that Obama has started his new job I think it’s time he answered the questions we all have:

1. Why didn’t the secret service shoot Jamie Foxx when he gave you the “what’s up playa” point Sunday night? You’re the first black president not the last nigga to roll up to da club.
2. Whose idea was it to put Herbie Hancock on stage with Sheryl Crow and Will I. Am? A jazz legend, a rock whore, and who?
3. Is Joaquin Phoenix’s rap career a matter of national security? He’s pissing on the grave of Johnny Cash… Again.
4. Why did Aretha look like a 600 pound wedding cake topper?

The people demand answers sir. These are not the changes we were looking for.