I am the winner of every argument that I have with my children.  I realize this won’t last forever but while I’m still on top I like to gloat about it.  Right now it’s easy to win.  I don’t have to put much thought into my points I merely have to repeat something witty that was said to me when I was a kid.

If one of the girls yells at their mother I get to step in with, “I don’t allow anyone to speak to my wife that way, especially not you.  She has spent years building this household and in doing so has earned the respect of all those around her and you will acknowledge the deserved level of respect and you will administer it as such.  Even though you think you’re an individual you need to also recall that you’re a member of the household that she built and  where she is one of only two authoritative figures and you should perceive your placement not as punishment or poor social standing but rather as an opportunity to earn your place in the same role.”

This causes a child to simply stare for a while and then whisper, “how… how did you do that?”

To which I reply, “Your father’s soul has been around for centuries and he has seen it all.”

I say shit like that because I can’t tell them the truth. The answer to “how did you do that?”  Can never be “Because your daddy did the same shit in sept of 76 and your great grandfather gave him a verbal raping that was way worse than the one you just got but you’ll never find out about it because you have a short attention span and he’s dead.”

Oh, and you can pick up the new album on digstation here.  I’ll be putting up more live shit for download soon.

If you’ve already watched the video then you should know the woman in question was arrested after the incident you just viewed took place in a Verizon store in Alabama.  I visit Alabama frequently, always enjoy my time there, and quite frankly I expected more from them on this one.  The entire situation disgusts me and it makes me realize what a hateful society we have become.

Here we have a poor, innocent, young mother shopping by herself with her 3 year old son.  She obviously has a very heavy bag in her right hand and is in quite a hurry.  Her son appears to be in a desperate need for a nap and from experience I can tell you the floors in a Verizon store are very soft.  She had probably promised to play with the young lad later that day by towing him behind an ATV in a field or perhaps assisting him with a little bumper skiing down a quiet country road.  As it does when shopping with children time got away from her and she was forced to combine activities so as not break little Timmy’s heart.  While rushing thru the store she realized it was getting close to nap time, she can’t carry him and the bag, and as she stopped to ensure the leash was around his chest and not his neck she asked if he would like to play a little game in the store while he got some rest.  Before he could answer she gave his heels a quick kick, the leash a forceful yet loving yank, and yelped for him to hang on!  The shock of the impact instantly put the boy in a REM state where he could blissfully dream the dragging motions his body was experiencing were taking place in a cartoon with monkeys and dolphins swimming in a pool of chocolate milk miles away from all the meth labs.

Arresting this woman for taking time out of her busy day to be a mother to her child is appalling.  We need to get our shit together america.