This “we’re all winners” thing is still running around in my head and now I wonder who decided we’re all winners anyway? I think it’s the young teachers, fresh out of college, who can’t teach from experience because they don’t have any. But they still teach, with no experience. If you constantly talk about things you know nothing about, you’re not a winner, or a loser. You’re just stupid.

When you’re stupid, and your job requires you to act smart, you act like people you think are smart.  But you’re stupid so how do you know if they’re smart?  You’re obviously a shitty judge of character because you don’t even know how dumb you are.  Who told you it was okay to tell a bunch of kids they were all winners even though, deep down, you know most of them suck? The same people that told us as Americans we’re #1 even though most of us are too dumb to ask, #1 in what?
Literacy? Nope. That’s Norway and there are more of them living here than in their own damn country. Are we #1 in percentage of college graduates? Nope, that’s New Zealand which is also #1 in percentage of goat herders. What that means is the guy hitting the goat in the balls with a stick probably has a better education than the one teaching my kids.

We got the first man in space right? Nope, Russia. First white nation with a black president? Cuba, and we won’t even talk to them. Damn it. Are we at least the happiest to be here? Not even close. Iceland’s citizens are the happiest to live in their country and their asses could freeze to any chair they sit. In the United States, that shit only happens in frat houses.
What ARE we #1 in? Spending, debt, consumption, plastic surgery, teen pregnancy, abortion, obesity, and exporting waste. Our flag should have a fat pregnant chic with a boob job and a gucci purse full of cheetos shitting in a bucket postmarked for Mexico on it.
We tell people we’re winners when all evidence indicates we’re not. This country makes mistakes other countries made 500 years ago because we’re still a young country. We’ve got no experience. But that doesn’t stop us from going all over the world telling other people how it’s supposed to be done. Remember what you are when you constantly talk about things you know nothing about?  That’s right. Stupid.  
We’re stupid, but we’re still here. That’s what we should be teaching kids. This isn’t the greatest country because we’re better at everything. It’s the greatest country because you can fuck up and still have the opportunity to make it. We can get lost in a mall looking for the Gap which as dumb, but it’s not as bad as getting lost on a dirt road looking for water. Don’t teach kids they don’t have to try because they’re already winners. Teach them to try as hard as they can and if they fuck up, they can always start over. This is the land of opportunity. We have steroids in baseball, dogfights in football, and we hate soccer because we suck at it. You can still grow up to be a president that gets his dick sucked, a governor that sucks dick, or, just one of the many people in this country that occasionally suck at what they’re trying to do.