find the hooker, preacher, and the food stamps and win a free ipod
I’ve never really been much of a religious person. Actually, that’s an understatement I’ve never understood religion at all. I’m not a hateful atheist I just read a lot and understand that every religious book is nothing more than a collection of stories meant to keep the tribes from constantly uprising. You know, like Obama’s youtube videos.
If you would’ve asked me if there was a god a week ago I would’ve answered no, probably not. But that was a week ago. Something has happened and now I’m forced to question all I’ve ever believed. Yesterday I sat in my office pissed at the world. The economy is taking it’s toll on my finances. On top of that it seems more and more lately I’m dealing with people who have no idea on how the world really works. In the last month I’ve listened to a small town plumber explain that he can fix the economy with a tank and a 13 year old girl call Obama a nigger terrorist (I’m fairly certain she can’t spell 3 of the last 4 words of that sentence). Yesterday I’d had enough of the shit. I just wanted it all to stop. Stop the hypocrisy. Stop the stupidity. Stop the close minded bullshit. That was yesterday.
I’m considering sueing CBS in my daughter’s name for plagiarizing the conversation she has with me every afternoon when I pick her up from school. The video above is his portion of this week’s 60 Minutes where in less than 3 minutes he covers the following topics: the holidays, the election (it was good was his take on it), the superbowl, the oscars, TV ratings, TV in August, how to spell February, which months are fun, endings suck, football starts earlier than it used to, a quick pause to check his own grammar, NY has weather, LA doesn’t, all movies are the same, do they sell more clothes in NY because of the weather, he owns one suit.
This is the exact flow of any conversation with a 5 year old as long as no one interrupts them. I don’t watch 60 minutes very often, but I know he has had real points in the past. Like the time he made the point that too much gay sex leads to premature death, Kurt Cobain was a pussy for killing himself, and the time he said there is no god. So why if he’s taken a stance so many other times is he allowed to ramble now? I think it’s obvious. He’s not 80 he’s 5 and Leslie Stahl is protecting him because she fell in love with him in the 80’s when he was 30.
