I recently found out that I am the reason only one comic is allowed on the radio to promote a club that will remain nameless due to the slight chance that they may book me again.  This is not the first time I’ve caused a problem on the air only the first time others have suffered because of it.  The story goes like this:

I arrived at the station about 8:00 am prior to sleeping from the night before.  The comedian I was working with was well rested, bright eyed, and excited about the potential promotion for the show.  My attitude is what it should have been, we’ll call it inattentive.

After the first break it was obvious the other comic was more interested in hearing his own voice in the headphones than bringing the funny, and I’m an asshole and hate bad radio.  The main host notices the lag in material as well as my warm up stretching and knowing my act he starts a conversation about life on the road when you have a family.  The rest is probably best quoted.

Host:  ”Julian do you get lonely on the road when you don’t bring the wife with you?”

Me:  ”Nope, I cheat.”

Annoying female side kick pass herself off as the cohost:  ”That’s disguisting.  You’re a pig.”

Me:  ”Honey, I’m a comic.  He set me up for the line and I had to swing at it.  It’s all an act and I love my wife.  I would never do anything to hurt her.”

Again from the talentless twat:  ”You shouldn’t say things like that.  Even joking about cheating is bad taste.  You should call her and apologize.”

Host:  ”Yes Julian, get on the phone right now and tell her your sorry for something you didn’t actually do.”

Me:  ”Before I call her, I feel like I should apologize to you (motioning to the hole in the room and conversation).  I didn’t mean for my joke to upset you.”

Backwoods vagina monologue “Thank you.  I just hate to see women treated that way.  Apology accepted.”

Me:  ”Thank you honey.  What are you doing later?”

She didn’t speak a word for the rest of the time we were in studio.  This made for great radio but it also increased advertising rates for the club.  Sorry guys.  The bitch had it coming.