Even today I'd rather bang the one on the right

When our children check the history books for this week in 2010 they will find two entries the world will never forget.  The legendary and talented Lena Horne died at age 92, and Teri Hatcher (that old actress who showed her tits in Tango and Cash) launched an advice blog for women.  Lena Horne was one of the greatest singers and actresses of all time.  Terry Hatcher quit college because she got a bit part on The Love Boat.  Ms. Horne lived thru the Great Depression, graduated college, and succeeded in her career despite over 60 years of racial oppression.  Teri is the daughter of a nuclear physicist and a computer programmer and she’s still a fucking idiot.

Lena Horne once said, “You have to be taught to be second class; you’re not born that way.”  This came from a woman who was told she was “less than” the majority of her life.  No one insinuated she might not have what it takes they told her she was shit because of her race and she carried on and succeeded in spite of those people and their opinions.

Teri describes her new blog (gethatched.com) as “a web destination ready to help you break out of your shell and discover what was there all along … one empowered chick!”  This is half ass line written by a room full of barefoot elitists curled up on comfy furniture in a 3,500 square foot sitting room while brown people brought them tea without making the mistake of actual eye contact.

Lena Horne was born in 1917, was 92 years old when she died, and I can’t find a single item where she was ever anything less than proud of her age, race, gender, or heritage.  Teri Hatcher has a history of being victimized, named her son after a VCR, and supposedly turned 40 in 2004.  That last one’s stumped me because she quit college after 2 ½ years in 1977 when she would have been 13.  I’m saying that puts her at about 53, but her shoulders look like they may be 70 or so and parts of her face are going to require carbon dating to get a real confirmation of age.

So ladies if you’re looking for a role model upon which to base the life and career goals you’re currently setting for yourself I suggest you pick up a Lena Horne biography and start realizing you don’t have any real problems holding you back.  But, if you’re looking for relationship and homemaker tips from a divorced millionaire idiot who took a soap opera gig because her money makers dropped level with her elbows, then jump on over to gethatched.com.