I am the winner of every argument that I have with my children.  I realize this won’t last forever but while I’m still on top I like to gloat about it.  Right now it’s easy to win.  I don’t have to put much thought into my points I merely have to repeat something witty that was said to me when I was a kid.

If one of the girls yells at their mother I get to step in with, “I don’t allow anyone to speak to my wife that way, especially not you.  She has spent years building this household and in doing so has earned the respect of all those around her and you will acknowledge the deserved level of respect and you will administer it as such.  Even though you think you’re an individual you need to also recall that you’re a member of the household that she built and  where she is one of only two authoritative figures and you should perceive your placement not as punishment or poor social standing but rather as an opportunity to earn your place in the same role.”

This causes a child to simply stare for a while and then whisper, “how… how did you do that?”

To which I reply, “Your father’s soul has been around for centuries and he has seen it all.”

I say shit like that because I can’t tell them the truth. The answer to “how did you do that?”  Can never be “Because your daddy did the same shit in sept of 76 and your great grandfather gave him a verbal raping that was way worse than the one you just got but you’ll never find out about it because you have a short attention span and he’s dead.”

Oh, and you can pick up the new album on digstation here.  I’ll be putting up more live shit for download soon.