Jul 28 2009

Socialized medicine is going to save our country

You ever wonder why I'm still here?  How I sit upright?  If I'm even still alive?

You ever wonder why I'm still here? How I sit upright? If I'm even still alive?


Most opponents of socialized medicine are people who really don’t understand exactly how it works. As someone who has an entire family living in countries with socialized medical systems, I do understand it because I’ve seen it in action. I’m here to tell you it’s a wonderful thing.

The greatest thing about socialized medicine is that if you have enough money, you don’t have to use it. The long hours we spend in emergency rooms, doctor’s offices, and testing facilities are a thing of the past. With a socialized system if you or your insurance company pay for those services you move straight to the front of the line. You’d probably get mugged in the lobby with all those poor people so now you’re not just paying for your time, you’re paying for your safety as well.

When you agree to pay more and jump to the front of the line you’re stepping into the political arena. Now you’re using a socialized system to better define lines between social classes. You’re saying “If you die it creates less of a burden on society than if they were forced to do without me,” and you’re probably right. It’s not really what socialism is all about but we’ve already decided we don’t want it anyway so who cares? We’ll just use the parts that work for us and make up the rest as we go along. Isn’t that what we’re doing with democracy?

Socialized medicine also cures many of the health problems plaguing our country today. And by cures I means kills all the people that have them. Diabetes, heart disease, AIDS, cancer, all these things take a very long time to properly diagnose. Once they have been detected more tests need to be completed to determine the proper treatment and then arrangements have to be made to obtain that treatment. If we as acceptable members of society are constantly stepping in front of the sick then these services will be delayed even further, pushing the majority of those afflicted with disease and poor social standing right into their non-government funded grave. With all the sick and non-desirables falling off we will rapidly become one of the healthiest countries in the world.

Another great thing about socialized medicine is the public opinion of celebrities and government officials who don’t use it. If you’re going to be on the side of the people, you’ve got to ensure they think you live like they do. Do you think Larry King would still be on the air if this system was in place? His 2nd heart attack would only have taken place in an alternate reality. In our world he would have withered away preventing our grief and that of several of his future ex-wives. On air memories of Regis Philben, Barbara Walters, and the majority of the cast of 60 minutes would be as distant as the last time we saw Cronkite live. Presidents would become younger and the Supreme Court would be able to chew their own food. The elderly would finally do what they are intended to do, die. Sure there would be a few that we would have rather kept around but we could more than make up for their loss with the new ability to lower taxes due to all the extra money they left behind in the social security system.

I’m sure you can now see that those making statements against socialized medicine can’t fully understand the benefits the system offers. Let’s hope we can push them aside and become the rich, young, and healthy nation we set out to be.

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