I Wrote a Book
I wrote a book called What You Didn’t Expect When You Were Expecting. As of today, you can buy it on iBooks or Amazon. The title may seem like something you wouldn’t expect from me, and that assumption will probably seem more accurate once you crack open the book. If you read it without knowing the author, I’d bet my name wouldn’t pop into your head for any of your first ten guesses of the author. But, that doesn’t mean I didn’t pull it off, because I did.
Eight years ago my wife informed me we were having our first child. Immediately thereafter our bedroom became filled with books supposedly filled with facts on pregnancy, child rearing, and the changes that were about to occur in our lives. Most of them would end up tossed across the room as the wife pointed out their problems and inconsistencies, rather loudly towards the side of my resting head.
“What the hell do my religious beliefs have to do with my due date?”
“Positive energy is not going to help relieve my gas, but I do feel pretty positive about farting on your book.”
“Where’s the book that explains how I’m supposed to fit my fat ass behind my steering wheel?
That’s the one that got me. Where’s the book that’s honest? Why hasn’t anyone written a book that explains things the way people actually speak instead of using phrases like “embarking on a fulfilling journey of life- long joy?” Why hasn’t anyone written a book that admits a lot of the things that are going to happen to you are going to suck?
Well I did. Now go and read it.
